POLITYPOP

A common problem for today’s progressive parents is explaining racial intolerance to their young ones, especially when it applies to a family member. Does one sugarcoat it and thus insulate them from the very real problem of prejudice? Or should one be blunt, inviting the inevitable ‘children say the darndest/most divisive things’ moment at Thanksgiving dinner? Well, father and Politypop contributor Patrick Vogelphol’s new e-book, FYI: Great Grandma is a Racist tackles this

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If there one thing me, Grimlock, love as much as America it’s Jesus. Me, Grimlock think he right in Bible when he talk about how dumb Communism is and how good guns and dinosaurs are. These are me, Grimlock favorite parts! Jesus is all American libertarian just like me, Grimlock! This is why it make me so angry that stupid liberal bozos want to fight war against his birthday. Me, Grimlock see war on Christmas everywhere! In neighborhood, people put Christmas trees in gutter like they trash! And trashcans filled with torn wrapping paper with pictures of Jesus’ dad, Santa on it. Wrapping paper no go in trash, wrapping paper go on presents for me, Grimlock under tree in living room of Ark!

Yesterday me, Grimlock went on walk to clear head. Just down street, stupid neighbor Jim taking down plastic Santa from roof and pulling Christmas lights off house.

The really piss me, Grimlock off.

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Me, Grimlock have been hearing a lot lately about ‘Fiscal Cliff’. Me hear it in three weeks country going over it unless stupid liberals decide to stop hating successful people and giving money to deadbeats like me stupid liberal friend Ratchet. He not independent! He want money for free, money hard working REAL Americans earn hard way, REAL Americans like me, Grimlock! Other day Ratchet, Jazz and me, Grimlock hanging out in living room of Ark and they talking about how it all Republicans’ fault that country going over cliff. This is dumbest thing me, Grimlock ever heard! Ratchet say that both sides need to give up something. He use a big word…compartmentalize, maybe? He so stupid! Me, Grimlock tell him this not Russia. Would he, Ratchet want compartmentalize the Constitution, because that’s what he saying we should do. Bwa-ha ha ha! He no see that one coming! He say all kinds of things about how it bad for whole country, not just stupid liberals or smart conservatives, and it cost everyone, but me Grimlock was too busy laughing to listen. Ratchet so stupid.

Stupid liberals always falling off cliffs. One time, me, Grimlock have to save stupid liberals Ironhide, Hound and big-government Optimus Prime when they fall off cliff into river. But that only because Wheeljack and Ratchet put stupid Memory Components on we, Dinobots’ heads. Mind control, just like government want! If you too stupid to not fall off cliff, no expect me, Grimlock to come bail you out. Me, Grimlock believe in personal responsibility and me not responsible for others’ well being. That not American way! You fall off cliff into water, that your problem, not mine, Grimlock! Me, Grimlock don’t know where Fiscal Cliff is, but it not matter. When stupid liberals fall off it into river, this time me, Grimlock, won’t be there to pull them out.

This past weekend the Politypop lost one of it’s great icons. Larry Hagman’s career was long and accomplished, but when he passed this weekend the one character he will doubtless be remembered for is the ruthless oil magnate J.R. Ewing from the prime time soap opera Dallas. 

J.R. was more than just a popular character on a television show, and more than just a cultural icon—he was the physical embodiment of the will-to-power, individualistic ideology of the Reagan era. J.R. was ruthless and cutthroat in both his personal and business dealings, adhering only to the morality of the bottom line, even when it drove a wedge between him and his family. And (in most cases) he profited pretty well from it. As reward for his C.R.E.A.M. business philosophy, J.R. drove the expensive cars, he lived in the large home, he wore the expensive clothes and, well, he got shot (it bears mentioning that J.R. is a Second Amendment hero for not preaching gun control after that little episode).

But what sets J.R. apart from other Reagan-era television icons of the day (Gordon Gekko, Angela Channing, Blake Carrington, Alf) was that he existed off camera as well. During a visit to Bucharest in the 1980’s, Hagman accepted a “bag full of cash” from the communist Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu to display a giant picture of J.R. on the

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